december writings.



12:48pm I don't know why I care so much, but I really really want to do something tonight. The only time I've been to a New Years party was in seventh grade when I hung with the "in crowd" and I hated it. I've never cared about New Years plans before, but tonight I want to do something, anything, and I have nowhere to go. Blah. There's something about this winter break that really depresses me.


02:51pm Sometimes I think I should just give up on some people.

02:43pm I wrote a letter to Andrea from Pretty Girls Make Graves last night. I read an interview in a zine and she said that if somebody can be touched by her music the way that she was touched by somebody's music, then that is total success. I figured that she would be the type of person to enjoy a letter from a girl like me telling her that her music means a lot to me. I hope she knows that I'm telling the truth, and not just trying to suck up to her.


04:24pm Today was 50% off all the merchandise in all the Goodwill thrift stores. In other words, cheap thrills. Oh boy, sometimes I think that I am too funny for my own good. Then I realize that I am not. Anyway, I was a shopping maniac today and now my legs hurt.


07:22pm I sent a boy a mix tape (along with a zine), and all he did is tell me that he does not like my zine. This makes me sad. If someone sent me a mix tape, I would lie to them and tell them that their zine was the best thing I'd ever laid my eyes on, even if the zine was terrible. Oh well. I'm too sensitive, I suppose.

02:52pm Today I made a trip to Lost And Found Vintage. How do I love this store? Let me count the ways.

1. This is Denny, the owner. He is such a nice and adorable young man (I think that age 26 is too old to use the word "boy" but too young to leave it at "man"). Doesn't he look identical to Ryan Adams?
2. This is what his store looks like. Every time I go in, it finds a way to get cuter and cuter. I'm still trying to figure out how Denny does this.
3. The wonderful movie Amelie plays on the TV.
4. The wonderful band Bright Eyes plays on the speakers.
5. Denny took my picture and put it on the wall.
6. Cutest. Clothes. Ever.

Just thought you should know.


08:01pm I added a picture of the day to this site. The link is right below the rest of the links at the top. See it there? Mm hm. I'm hoping that I'll remember to change that picture every day.

I've decided to name my robot Clarence. Well, actually, it was Tyler's idea. But what a great name, either way.

Recover's new CD rocks me like WHOA! Really, it's ridiculous. I've been dancing around all day.

12:10pm This year's Christmas has certainly been kind to me. Right now I'm dancing to the new Recover CD that I ordered for myself for Christmas, but mother paid for it. I got so many good things, and everyone was content this morning. I made mom a mix tape, I got my dad a gift certificate to Guitar Center, and I got my sister the Kelly Clarkson CD.

My mom got me a robot that walks around! I still haven't decided what to name it. But I plan to bring it with me everywhere.


10:35pm I gave my grandma a copy of my zine and she laughed and cried when she read the story about her. This made me happy. I really love my grandma. I don't care how corny that sounds.

01:40pm Amanda got me a new printer and the guitarist from Headfirst just asked me to marry him. Well, Merry Christmas to me.


01:35pm For anyone that enjoys a good foreign film, I strongly suggest Happenstance. It's marvelous.

10:11am I had a dream last night that I met this boy and we liked eachother but I don't remember what he looked like. He took me shopping because he wanted to buy me things but I told him that I didn't want anything except to keep holding his hand forever. Then I woke up. I'm quite confused on what this all means. Even nice dreams bother me sometimes.


03:33pm Last night I went to a party that my parents' friends were hosting. I got to see my friend Nick, and that was nice. I have known Nick since birth, and we share this strange bond with eachother because he is very popular and outdoorsy and perverted and snobby and I am... not. But we still get along wonderfully! We like to have fun with all the adults that are, shall we say, "under the influence". I went over to his house after the party and I made him listen to the good music that I brought with me. He likes the loud guitars and screaming just as much as I. I made fun of him for listening to New Found Glory and he made fun of me for liking bands with girl singers.

Nick's dad (he's basically my uncle) gave me an old 50mm Olympus camera of his. I was so excited that I hugged the camera when he gave it to me. Nick's dad told me that he was famous for his mix tapes in high school. He even went to a high school reunion a while ago and someone told him that he "made the music come alive". I want to be that person that is famous for their mix tapes and has too many cameras so they give them away to needy beginner photographers.


01:27pm Things I want to do over this lovely two week break from school:

1. Have a Celebration Of Winter with Adam.
2. Clean my closet and drawers.
3. Go thrift store shopping.
4. Get the gum off my backpack that has been there for weeks.
5. Play laser tag.
6. Send many zines out.

How exciting is my life, seriously.


07:41pm Winter break is here. I'm free.


07:35pm Oh boy, I just love having my cousin come over (sarcasm). Long story of her life short = made too many mistakes and now she is a screwed up 19 year old with no job. Super. We have nothing in common.

So she says to me, "So, like, what do you wanna do after school and stuff?" And I say, "I don't know yet... I like journalism a lot?" And she says, "Oh, so you enjoy yappin' about other people?!" And I say, "Um." And then the awkwardness rolled right in (right on schedule).

My cousin scares me because she likes babies a lot and does this wierd thing when she laughs. It's like, "Tssssst Tsssst." Hard to explain, but it's annoying as hell.

06:54pm Day One of finals was today. I think I did pretty well. Just one more day of finals tomorrow... and then freedom. I don't have many plans for this winter break, but the plans that I do have excite me.

Just a reminder: the not-so-famous Robot Zine is still available.


10:16pm Or maybe I'll further procrastinate and finish making the whole site match. Now you will see my face wherever you go. Oh fright!

08:44pm By the way, I have to study for finals now so, as of now, the rest of the site doesn't match this page. Blah. I'll finish up tomorrow.

08:29pm I apologize for the conceitedness of the new picture at the top. As Jonas says, "It's just too Gap." But oh well. It's a hood. It's the holidays. DEAL WITH IT.

How's that for holiday spirit?


07:19pm Tonight my mom cooked fried shrimp and it was very scrumptious. We were all sitting at the dining table, enjoying our meal, when all of a sudden we noticed the house was getting a bit smoky. So my mother ran to the kitchen and saw that instead of turning the oven off, she turned it on high, and the smoke was going everywhere. Now my eyes are teary and I feel like I'm on a cloud, except for the fact that I'm inhaling harmful things. It smells bad too.

I'm so anxious for winter break to begin. I am terribly distraught over finals, and I just want it all to be over this second.

I miss my friends this evening.

12:56pm If last night was a person, I just might marry it. As always, Bubba was drunk, Fred was gay, and Hector was the nicest person ever.


03:10pm Everything was going well today until 7th hour, in which some things just sort of... fell apart. Nothing too serious (it's just an English final... it's not like someone died), but it just feels awful right now.

I really get too upset about these things sometimes. There are more imporant things in life, like Hector and the rest of Running Late, all of whom will be be kicking my ass at laser tag this evening.


04:37pm Today wasn't much better than the previous days in this boring week. Too much homework, and not enough fun. Tomorrow better bring something good.

The way that boy flips his hair makes me say OH DEAR! (Marksp, too)


07:38pm Is it really only Wednesday?

Let's see... yesterday wasn't so good. I was too tired and everything was just so blah. I had an appointment with my guidance counselor because my mom and I wanted to talk with her about me not taking Honors English next year. So all of a sudden this bitch guidance counselor starts yelling at me. Things like, "Stop being so lazy and just suck it up, Chels". Not only was she annoying, but she was also mean. And she called me Chels, which is most unacceptable when coming from a mean person. She made me want to cry and stuff.

In the span of six days (starting this Friday and ending next Thursday), there will be three Running Late shows! We're gonna play laser tag with them again, and I just might die from having too much fun.

Today my family recieved a Christmas card with a picture of our friends' newborn twins. They look like red faced aliens, and it scares me a lot.


09:49pm Tonight I met THREE boys with dreadlocks. We met in the parking lot of Office Max, which is a very strange place to meet people, but it didn't seem all that strange at the time. I think they knew that I'm one of those people that's going to get dreadlocks as soon as I head off to college. We talked for only a little while, but it was enough to make my night. I mean, come on. These are boys with DREADLOCKS we're talking about here.


04:47pm We got a Christmas tree today and the smell of it is so lovely. I wish that trees were involved in all of the holidays. Eggnog, too.


08:09pm Robot Day yesterday turned out very well because:

1. Roderigo wore his robot shirt that he knows I adore.
2. Roderigo drew me a robot.
3. Adam and Tyler came over to my house to watch Short Circuit (robot movie).
4. The robot dance was included in the school dance concert.

Oh goodness. Have you ever seen someone look so cute when they're asleep? I haven't. (That's Adam).

Sometimes my dad is the coolest dad ever. Like tonight, when he left to go to his company Christmas party. (He doesn't really smoke, I just made him pose with the pipe).


07:41pm Tomorrow is Robot Day, in case anyone was unaware.

ME: i think we should officially declare December 6th as Robot Day
TYLER: haha, yes
TYLER: no one would care and we'd forget about it after four days
ME: oh shut up.
ME: im declaring it anyway.

04:37pm MOTHER OF ALL THINGS GREAT! According to my counter, someone found my site by going to Yahoo and searching for "pics of gangsta clothing"! I mean, WOW!! What have I done to deserve this great thing?!

Also, a girl named Kelly that I used to be inseperable with in middle school got in a fight today and I got to see part of it. It was super entertaining to think that I used to do everything with this girl that was currently throwing punches.

04:18pm The other day, I asked the boy that reads parts of the bible to us at lunch how he knew that God existed. He has been doing this preaching thing for some time now, and I have been very polite about it all. I really have. He's a very nice boy; I was just curious as to how he knew that there was a god. So we had this nice little discussion the other day, and I found it very interesting.

Today he gave me a pamphlet entitled "Why We Believe : Evidences For Christian Faith". Oi.


04:47pm A Tale Of Two Cities study guide could not be any more frustrating. Note to self : if you would like to get anything accomplished, don't spend all fucking day looking at lipstick and cigarettes and whining about how much work you have to do. Because you end up doing everything on Tuesday before eight o'clock, so you and Amanda can copy eachother's answers at that time.

ME: right now i kind of want to get a rope, make a time machine, and go back in time to strangle Charles Dickens and laugh as his blood drips on the original copy of A Tale Of Two Cities. and then we'll burn the book, and then not have to do the study guide. care to join me?
AMANDA: let me get on my protective time machine wear

07:37am If I would have blinked, I would have missed all of freshman year and half of sophomore year. I mean, all of a sudden, finals are in 2 weeks and I'm left wondering how I got here so damn fast. And sometimes I want things to just... slow down.